Find a surrogate mother without agency

If you choose to follow an independent surrogacy journey and not use a surrogacy agency one of the best things is to create a surrogacy plan. To prepare this plan help you to identify your expectations, needs and goals and anticipate a lot of problems.

When you are an independent intended parents one critical step of your process will be to find surrogate mother.

find a surrogate mother

How to Find a Surrogate Mother

There are several options to find a surrogate and learning about each possibility will let you to make the best choice. For example, you can talk to your family and friends and tell them your story and desire to become parent through surrogacy, sometimes the mouth to mouth can help you to find a surrogate, nevertheless this option implies that you need to share and be open and perhaps you don’t feel comfortable with this option. Also, you can join surrogacy communities online, matching websites, surrogacy adds places, Facebook groups for intended parents and surrogate mothers even tell your story in a local radio or newspaper.

It’s highly probably that you will be contacted by several surrogate mothers, and probably not all will be suitable for you because they don’t fulfill the requirements, they don’t share your goals or just because you don’t feel comfortable moving forward with them. In any case, you need to make a pre-screening process and also ask a lot of questions to ensure both parts are on the same page.

how to find surrogate mother

There is not a list with official requirements for being a surrogate mother but probably some common ones are:

  • Age between 21 and 42
  • Healthy Body Mass Index
  • Non-smoker / no drugs / no alcohol
  • At least one previous pregnancy
  • Not history of major medical complications during the pregnancy

It’s important that before you choose a surrogate you find out what are the minimal requirements from your fertility clinic, because as I said, there is no official requirements and can slightly change from one clinic to another.

One problem that you can find if you use a family member or friend is that she will know a lot about your personal life, probably more than you might want.  It’s important that if you find a friend or family member to be your surrogate, you also need to draft a surrogacy contract in which the rights and obligation of both parts are described

To find the right surrogate mother you need to have prepared previously a list to know exactly what are your needs.

  • Country/State/City
  • Race
  • Married/Single
  • Working mother
  • Fertility Clinic requirements
  • Numbers of embryos to transfer (one or two)
  • Others

After you have prepared your list you can start your research using surrogacy communities online, Facebook groups, posting ads in forums or local newspapers, etc

You can find more info in this video, how to find a surrogate mother on your own.

For more info about how to find a surrogate

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